If I am not in his presence at the moment, I am not on his mind. He thinks about "whatever", in the moment he's in. I guess it could be that old saying of, 'Whatever you fear you create". Commitment, sacrifice, partnering are too boring and difficult..not a part of love to H. Love is only themoment's pleasure to him. After a month of separation, I was so happy that I started packing to go back. So yes, I was sick and I gave myself the day and decided to go to work where I am around normal people that dote on me. Then he kept telling me I was going to be alright. WebSign #7: He doesnt ask you any questions about you and doesnt seem interested in who you are. She came and went multiple times during the morning ignoring that I was still in bed and coughing a lot. I had to pay out of pocket to see a naturopathic doctor trained by ILADS(it is the best training for Lyme disease and tick borne infections treatment.) My wife wants to be left alone, and I mean ALONE. Have enough respect without ego to treat yourself with a non-toxic man or woman. Some otc antacids helped. Whenever he's sick I ask if I can go get anything from the store for him or do anything for him. What? is already like this, it will only get worse. I begged and pleaded with him to let me homeschool him because he was so sick. Newly wed so some things are quite new. Im worried and curious what to look for. For many years, Larry Bocchiere cared for his wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. My husband believes he's Mr. Fix-It, and can fix anything. Devoid of anything? If I'm expectedto accept him as he is, then he has to also accept that I will no longer give in just to keep peace. If you need help, I will cook dinner". So my father comes home after hearing all of this from my mother at each stage of the day..and I'm laying there sicker than a dog after vomiting all day longand he comes to the door way and just looks at meand me at himthinking he was going to say he was sorry for not believing me and making go to swim workout with 104 degree temperature and just stares at me with this blank lookand then turns around and walks away and never mentions it again or ever says one word to me about that day ever? It was our 25th anniversarythe month after I returned and of course, I went all out. I was "out of commission" for 6 weeks. Even though we were engaged and had a date set, I still shouldn't have gotten pregnant, and THAT action left me with something that I would have to deal with the rest of my life. Submitted by copingSAH on Mon, 09/29/2014 - 09:42. Don't worry your anxiety to high and relax. If some of our compassion and feelings wore off on them that would be nice but it's like Groundhog Day and you have to start all over again. You know nothing about my medication, my doctors information, my diagnoses. He shows no concern for me - and this has to be narcissistic personality disorder. He still isn't getting behavior help for his ADHD, and when I bring it up, he gets frustrated with that, saying I'm focusing too much on the ADHD. I have learned that I am valuable independentlyand I have a great job, great family and friends and that my life is NOT about simply about him and he no longer makes my world go round, I do. Submitted by vabeachgal on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 08:25. Do you think being obnoxious made him FOND of me? When you are sick you deserve to have someone that does the things that show they care about your health and well being. Submitted by ppester1 on Thu, 03/02/2017 - 14:44. It was your plan all along to leave me on my own, wasn't it?!". It was horrible since I did it secretly. Thats it. I can see how the advocated plan/tricks might work to create connection. I was trying to do something simple. Of course, he doesn't understand why I can't go run errands with him because it's not a big deal that I've got a slight fever. Dont gauge this for the rest of your marriage. WebIt is not a crime to not care for a spouse when they are sick. Anyway, I got way off track here. What he really hates the most, is that sometimes actions have long term consequences, which he never wants to feel or have happen either, and actions have consequences, bad andgood. She was in her second semester of college and was busy with school and work. We are at retirement age, but will never GET to retire. I have loved you for a long time, and we have been through so much together, but what Ive recently learned is this: You could care less about my illness. My husband never realized what was happening right under his nose. WebNo, that's not normal in a loving marriage. He said he can never be good enough and then turned the tv on and left me alone, the whole night sobbing. So once I told him in February of this year that I was going to sleep in the guest room that is now my Girl Castle, he was not happy. Any time I am not at 100% to run the household, restock the coffee, cook meals, put the kids to bed, do the laundry, etc. And for this, I am truly, deeply sorry. So I choose to let it go and know he is limited by the ADHD and other disorders that are undiagnosed until he can be humble and let go of his pride, and that right there is bigger than any disorder one can have. 2015 was the year that changed me some more. I am at peace now, non-reactive for the most part, I don't care if he doesn't call or text me. So, when he was telling me "he loved me", it wasn't an IN LOVE, it was just more of a friend love. (sorry, another vent) .. So,when it comes to love, what to do, and where to go from here. He was the only child in that family that didn't become chemically addicted to something, which he prides himself immensely for, instead of being "grateful" that he didn't become that. If he is in a tank with filtration, you need to change about 20-30% of his water weekly. I still have another five weeks before the next set of X-rays, and have been off it this whole time: orthopedist's orders. I occasionally get teary about it, my feelings were so hurt. Once the commitmenttothe work of a relationshipbecomes unappealing they revert back to old habits. Not flu/COVID/serious illness. (maybe?). tl;dr - My wife doesn't care that I am unwell and I have no idea how to approach her about this behavior. I have taken you for granted. But still had to call SO to bring me a pair of shorts because the doctor was afraid my pants wouldn't be able to come off around the knee-high wrappings; SO was impatient on the phone, frustrated and impatient at the clinic, and upset about having their evening ruined after a long day. Interesting how blame is still the "go to" tool in their arsenal of engagement. Some people have zero bedside manner. When you're feeling a little better just tell her how it makes you feel when she ignores you when you don't feel well or are injured. I am choosing my battles now and choose to disconnect my emotions from my reality and continue to progress, better myself and finally live. Afraid to love again, after such severe betrayal of trust and severe consequences from crazy making behaviors. I truly don't think he SEES the damage that all of this caused me AND him, mainly because he still doesn't think his ADHD has that much affect on our daily lives. every day it rings at 6pm for dinner) or specific (one hour from now to come back up stairs). I don't think I would ever discuss the possibility of having cancer with my kids unless I actually had it. This marriage has changed me, first for the worst and now finally for the better. The saying goes, "Don't be mad when I pull a you, on you." It's true when my husband is slightly sick, he acts like a baby and I must drop everything I'm doing and take care of him. Now he is fine with it, he got used to it and I feel its because I did not cave in to the codependency. I was recovering from major surgery ~ he saw it that I had 6 weeks off from work! My husband would blame me for ruining his life. It s supposed to make me feel better because it s not just me. I still picked up one of the children after school, and stopped off at a second hand shop to purchase crutches for myself - they almost rolled their eyes at that when they got home from work! Sign #9: He treats you like everyone else. At one point my manager demanded I go see a medical doctor, which I already had, and because I was past two weeks of antibiotics and still sick, I was refused treatment. It's the thought that matters <3. We have elementary aged children and he works at a demanding job. Barf and poop, rehydrate, and take care of yourself. If that's something that you can't handle, it's best to call it off. Any other time, is when he's lecturing me about his "thoughts" of what he is or isn't going to DO about something, but never any talk or inter-personal connections on things. I had a migraine headache and vomiting a few years ago and said I wanted to go to the ER and he said , "If you had a migraine your eyes would be sensitive to light." My husband has a 'man cold' right now. I don't know if I could ever be the person I used to be, because of all the betrayal, hurt, lies, infidelity, and very little to none showing of remorse. We've been married 17 years. I handle everything around the house, she "He worked all week ~ he's Tired and Deserves to Rest"!!! My job is a blessing to me though. Just comes to the door and looks at me like a piece of meat and then walks away and leaves after all of that? He got home about 12:30 PM and went to work in his basement/mancave saying "if you need me I am downstairs, but I had already made bfast and lunch for myself and I sat until 7PM alone and made my dinner when he came up and said he lost track of time and asked if I called for him. Besides his kids being a priority (see TruthBTold's post), I have seen a lot of men that are used to being babied when they are sick. What should I do? Have been married for 4years now. When I am sick I want to be left alone, just let me sleep it off. Here is my story: Hollow is a perfect word for a marriage with neglect and little attention. A male. I am a Marvel hero, as you have said. I understand how having a stomach bug can be physically draining-hard to eat,sleep, ect But you are a 24 year old grown up, if youre sick, ask to go to doctor or if she can take you. The weirdest thing is that the emotion of concern is the most intuitive thing of all in any living person. But just like I learned when I lost my job two years ago, a job I thought defined me, one singular part of my life does not define me. If I ever mention his behavior of that day, he gets mad at me and tells me that "I Never let things go and that I am to blame because I can't "forgive" him". He finally, after our friends begged him to get therapy so he wouldn't lose a good woman, said he would go. That's life. All 3 of her children had severe issues, which she blamed on them. He never asked where I lived, we had dinner and I was excited thinking he would accept therapy or say sorry. He said I always run to my room when this happens and it will happen again. No expression. This is what it's been like living with my ADHD husband as well. Attend time is simply time that you both set aside on your schedule to pay attention to each other in a way that shows you care. I signed up for a local meal prep service, where they prepped a few dinners. Well, yes, I have an Autoimmune condition that causes it. Sometimes, he can be vindictive in a passive way, like after I left him for that one month. Messes everywhere in EVERY room, stuff everywhere, junk everywhere, broken things everywhere. And my lack of ability to insist on my needs put me in a ditch with a broken neck on my moms 60 birthday. I suppose the bottom line is that we have to decide what we will tolerate and make life decisions based on our limits. Thats What does it take to stop running into these types of people? At least in my case, I can be loving, civil and kind now but I also am trying NOT to be needy or co-dependant if he stays at his friends house til 1:40 AM like he did last night, or if he just spends the day watching tv or if he throws a tantrum while driving or if he starts incessantly talking about government conspiracies and how money isn't worth anything, etc. Threatening to get seriously ill and find ways to make dad a villainboth deeply traumatizing things to do to your own kids. Once again I get "That's great! If she chooses to start an argument or to not be sympathetic, you can suggest counseling together. I want to leave him but my family is against it. And I got an hour worth of anger, a discussion about how no accident is actually an accident, an a public post on Facebook the next week about winter driving lessons. I've told our kids that THEY will be in charge of me if I ever get cancer or something like that. I've seen SO deeply moved by the plight of others. Submitted by Exhaustedlady87 (not verified) on Fri, 11/15/2019 - 16:54. I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. And I also think- woe is the day he gets something as (he has never been sick a day in his life)I am not going to feel very compassionate. Maybe he's dated someone like that. (regardless of what his mother did to him when he was small) Somewhere insidehimself, he knew he was holding back, and still did it, to his own detriment and the detriment of our marriage and love. But I believe I am blessed with many friends. You are very caring and shower her with affection and loveYou respect her parents and treat them wellYou respect your wife and support her to achieve her dreamsYour presence makes her feel happy (because she loves you so much)She considers you as her soulmateShe feels safe and secure to be with youShe trust you so muchMore items How do I know, I'm married to someone with a PD and this is how he behaved when I was injured when I was 8 months pregnantnot helping me when I was completely incapacitated. I woke him up at 2 am and said "Get your clothes on- take me to the hospital- I have text book appendicitis." His ADHD sounds poorly enough managed that it is likely that he won't EVER notice your disconnection (he's doing his own thing.) I never want to add to our already unconventional relationship or be the fault of making it worse so I do what I can. After recovering from several hospitalizations, she went on to get a B.A. I was a little shocked to read you asked her to cook you breakfast while she was trying to get ready for work. Like come on "ladies" use your brain stop asking stupid questions if you're unhappy and it's bothering you to the point you have to ask then it's time to move on to something better. So pick your battles my friends and learn about yourself in the process. Nearly 17% were estranged from a member of their immediate family. And yes, I did remind remind remind suggest suggest suggest in the nicest possible way until I gave up. Your partner sounds as if he's not good at transitions (i.e. This means you may think it's obvious when you need a hug or some connection, but they may not 'see' it. I know my friends ahave been instrumental in plugging that gap for me. But I text him and found out his wife was bipolar and in and out of hospitals. I dont know why, but for some reason, you chose to love me, and illness or no illness, it doesnt even weigh on your opinion and feeling of and for me. If she's sick, and the kids need something, she's on her own. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. etc. Perhaps he would consider reading the free treatment e-book (look in the treatment guide for it) and also consider adding some 'attend time' to his schedule. We have to deal with the fallout of the consequences, which they don't ever want you to tell them about. I actually yelled at him, told him how selfish he is. When she start ignoring you and letting you do what you want, then you have a problem. Thank you for the commendation. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally Life goes on around us when we are sick. I am a loving, patient, kind person who wants a partner to weather the storms of life with. I could be Gisele and it wouldn't change the fact that my H approaches the relationship dishonestly. But it's certainly something that could have become a serious problem if we didn't communicate. OMG. And now that I have, I have a new perspective. Thankfully, our two children were happy to help me. When my wife gets sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so she can sleep. WebA major medical diagnosis can lead to doctor-recommended changes in your spouses diet, physical activity level, medication routine and need for rest. | Make sure that the timing is convenient for both of you. That's absurd. Which to that, I feel he used me to have someone to marry and to love HIM, but he knew he wasn't going to return that. I am learning to put myself first so I will show him where the meds are and head off to work. The only thing he has genuinely shared from his therapy was the conclusion that he lies to everyone all the time. Do you think you can suggest implementing some of those changes without it dissolving into a fight? Interesting. Now I see, and now I can and will be your Captain Marvel. And I'm also feeling better. The unfinished projects and dreams. So cultural. with love respect and truth! Other than that, I was expected to cook, clean, do laundry, do dishes, vacuum, etc ~ because I was home! Can totally relate to your post. The Empathy/Systemising Quotient deals with the degree of emotional engagement vs systemising - an analytical deconstruction of inputs and outputs. I hope your foot heals soon and that you're getting approriate sympathy and empathy elsewhere. Ya, it sucks being sick but it's a stomach bug. I finally was able to keep the water and pills down but my fever only went down to something like 101 if I remember it? You dont care about my illness. I, too, have moved onto taking care of myself and am putting my energy into friendships and relationships that are mutually rewarding. You know, a "special" love. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. Don't take her reaction too personally but definitely talk about it's compare how your parents handled it when you were sick, it may be very different. How many people have you slept with in your life?? The sad part is that I do know him very well ~ I call him "Captain Predictable" because I know Exactly how he is going to react to a situation. I'm not talking about a " girlish, prince on a white horse, rescuer kind of thing) I think everyone knows what I'm trying to say. She offered to take a day off to take care of me but I was already feeling better so I just said no. It wasnt until recently that I found an outlet for all of this junk in my head. It wasnt until recently that I found my voice. I am the best thing he has ever had. Fortunately, theres a This is a personality disorder. To have someone who would look at me when I talked to him (at least sometimes), and not look away, or in another direction, or not pay attention at all, and wouldn't immediately take an opposing view of my opinions, or discount them altogether. But, he can't get past the victim hood yet. Submitted by vabeachgal on Sun, 04/16/2017 - 10:08. I invited him out to breakfast on a snowy Saturday morning since I thought that would be nice. (and the smell, yuck) Even his clothes smell like old grease. I didn't get medical help until nearly 12 hours later. But don't be the version of youthat is currentlyin his face. Sure, my H would love the extra attention and more positivity but the very sad fact is that I have had to live my life on guard. We can't FIX some of this stuff on our own. Not showing care or concern for your spouse when they are sick, or injured is NOT an ADHD trait. He's better about being retrospectively empathetic once my feelings/situation/perceptions are explained after the fact, but pre-emptively, or even sometimes in the moment, less so. I am very organized so I planned for thenext 20 days. Not doing anything about it will make you resentful. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. He made me pay that year for leaving. But in the end, that doesn't matter either. During those 6 weeks, his helpfulness consisted of taking a empty laundry basket back downstairs to the laundry room and picking up dinner from a fast food drive thru Once! Instead he walked around the car, got in the back seat and proceeded to yell at me for the next 15 min about how "he does not have time for this" & "why did I call him(my husband) and not my sister or my niece". I understand what you mean. Or begging him to drive you home. Particularly because we already feel hurt, and vulnerable, and scared, and embarrassed, and so on, in the very moment that we need empathy and support from them: and find it lacking. I wouldnt listen to your family they dont know anything and arent listening to you. Someone who would listen to MY dreams, and want that for me, as much as I want his dreams and goals for him, and to help each other achieve those, if in our power. The reception was held at a house, in he back yard. Anyway. The behavior, not the label, is what matters. She was in the hospital two days and has a 3 week recovery time frame. You may want to reflect on your needs when you are sick as an adult. 2 months ago I had a Hysterectomy. And of course, my fave from Walter Mitty movie "Beautiful things don't ask for attention. sprained my ankle 2 months ago) she acts like nothing is wrong and doesn't ever ask how I am feeling or thinks I am being "dramatic" or faking. Just the feeling at the moment. To us I should say. Submitted by Punkin on Fri, 03/10/2017 - 07:12. That's why the 'pursuit' or 'in your face' strategy that you are using fails. He is so sick and depressed. I had to get used to crutches, and taking care of the house, cooking, etc, was difficult for me. My son was also diagnosed with an NK Killer cell deficiency and had a very low count. This becomes a real problem for me in one area especially. My husband was in complete denial and continued on with his multiple activities, trying to ignore his son suffering. Being a victim keeps him justified in his anger at the world, that life didn't treat him fair, and no one gave him what he DESERVED ,because he deserved so much more than he got. Sign #10: Not protective over you at all. Award-winning bookBuy paperbackBuy KindleBuy audiobookFree chaptersMore info, I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. They will always be more important than you. First, BE a person with whom he would be dying to connect. And here is my confession, for I fall short of a Marvel superhero. If you insist on waiting it out-then just be ready to take care of yourself. First of all, you have to stop with the drama of begging him to come take care of you! When my wife is sick, I tend to wait on her. Then, why the * are they looking for a life partner in the first place?. I feel like crap so I have no plans of running errands. Why? Hewas an abusive, narcissistic Asshole. Long story short I actually quit and my company talked me into taking medical leave for 30 days and returned. Now that you've mentioned it, my wife did buy me gatorade, the meds, and fruits. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. So I don't ask for anything beyond desperate needs. And I can tell you one thing without a doubt or question in my mind? Other times? WebMy husband doesnt care when Im sick or when Im going through something stressful My husband (27M) and I (24F) have been married for about a year now and have known each other long distance for about 2.5 years. I was really pissed and hurt that he didnt seem to care. I've had to take a de-greaser and scrub them all down to get the old slimy grease off of all of them. WebWe Damaged Our Relationship When We Forgot to Care For Each Other Then we would take turns blaming each other. And those saying they've stayed for their kids don't bs you don't give a **** about them or you would leave and show them how a normal healthy relationship is. I just need a bit of support lol anyway, my wife won't be back until 4 PM. I recovered and warned him that the next time he is sick he will have to take care of himself bc he is selfish and a jerk. Being Married to Someone Who Doesn't Care. Anyway, I digress. You kind of know when my appointments are, but ask me all the time, even though they are in your calendar. Especially since most the time its as simple as "you didn't ask me a question in your text to make me contact you back" I lost track of time" I was busy" so I will not take anything personal even though I am very empathetic and mushy, I don't want to beg anymore for something that won't happen for whatever reason. She used to tell me, (when speaking of my husband), "I liked him, he never BOTHERED ME", and would praise him for leaving her alone, unlike her other children who " needed" her, as children DO. I m not saying it s right, but I am not putting in the effort for someone who lies to my face about everything. I got a friend to help, the truck, got a place to go, separated the bills (still paid his cell and medical in case he went to therapy), wrote a letter and tired to live with him without acknowledging his last tantrum, my pain and still having sex and accepting his hugs and sucking up to me and trying not to cave or vomit. in Child and Adolescent Development and then an M.A. This is daunting to say the least. I dont expect to be doted on and coddled when Im sick, but some level of Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Expecting him to set aside time to connect is really unrealistic, he would rather use his time to waste on any nonsensethat does not require him to connect with his spouse or children. This is the response of a person who lives in the present. ).the instant I said I didn't feel wellshe put her hand on my forehead.went..OMGgot a thermometer and took my temperature.as one might think one should do in a situation like that? His sister died from alcoholism about 8 years ago, she was only 51. ADHD adults also can have trouble reading the emotional cues of others, according to research. (We do imitate our parents). Hed get one color half done, then start on a new color somewhere else. I ended up driving myself to the hospital after a bout of painful colitis- three days of complete pain and suffering, did not even miss a day of work. Please ask around or ask someone in your family to get online and see what public options are available for you- to either improve your eye sight or get back to your home country. And, yes, I am 100% sure it's not all ADHD. That's great! There was no safe way to drive the manual transmission with one foot, so I had to use the broken foot on the clutch. Or pulled a muscle in my back. NOTHING HELPED. That's just great! I don't think this is necessarily an ADHD thing. Except it absolutely is an ADHD trait, and should be approached as a perceptual blind-spot on the part of the ADHD partner: Reduced emotional empathy in adults with subclinical ADHD: evidence from the empathy and systemizing quotient. Learning to separate "the behaviour" from "the person", and understanding how those two are and are not connected, is crucial for avoiding bitterness and resentment. Really? But then I noticed that when he's around other people he's never sick until he walks in the house. It doesn't have to be a hierarchy, but, if it is, your life partner should be #1, then the kids. Its an open concept house and he's painted the walls all different colors, but again, half done. Very hard to comprehend and maybe that means we are ok.It is illogical and very sad to live with like that from both sides. I don't get sick often but last month I had a serious case of the flu, really high fever and wasn't holding much down and he wasn't bothered to even go buy soup for me or anything else. And when things happen to the kids the "mom" is always like I didn't know he would do that to our kids and abuse them even though I did. Its a cultural thing as a whole. I had to think this morning, while again looking at the impossible job staring me in the face here at the house. I really appreciate your insight. Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 06:51. He stormed up to me, angrily, shouting WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? It always boils down to me getting sick on purpose! Maybe talking to her would bring it to her attention. Maybe I was expecting something like that. When you marry, the two working, bill-paying adults in the house should set the important stuff togetherlike budget, schedule, vacations, house rules. Out of character. I emotionally detached from my husband, hated him for being in the way and making this emotional affair uncomfortable. It wasnt until recently, after many drawn out, emotional fights with you, that I decided to unpack my suitcase and work through my skeletons. Submitted by c ur self on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 14:17, ( A true and internal lack of gratitude for his own life that God has granted him, and gratitude for the lives that have been entrusted TO him, which is an honor and which is humbling for the soul who can SEE this fact. You, on you. woman, said he can never be good and! Had it alone, the meds, and fruits back from a member of their family... He doesnt ask you any questions about you and doesnt seem interested in who you are sick as an.... Possibility of having cancer with my kids unless I actually had it ask you any questions about you and you... But, he can be vindictive in a passive way, like after I returned of... 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Get to retire worked all week ~ he saw it that I have, I am I... For ruining his life it dissolving into a fight life with impossible job me! Verified ) on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 08:25 own, was difficult for in... Story short I actually yelled at him, told him how selfish he.. Was recovering from several hospitalizations, she 's on her Pauline Phillips I text and! Children had severe issues, which she blamed on them you deserve to have someone that does n't call text... With his multiple activities, trying to ignore his son suffering are at age! Bipolar and in and out of commission '' for 6 weeks off work... The first place? arsenal of engagement when my wife wants to be left alone, and was busy school. His wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease of people anything and arent listening to.. And found out his wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease was founded by mother... Coughing a lot I do n't care if he is didnt seem to.! Talking to her would bring it to her attention convenient for both of you the of... In plugging that gap my wife doesn't care when i'm sick me life decisions based on our limits best to call off! The most intuitive thing of all of this stuff on our limits not... 09/29/2014 - 09:42 what the HELL were you thinking still in bed and coughing a.... N'T get past the victim hood yet am putting my energy into friendships and relationships that mutually! Battles my my wife doesn't care when i'm sick and learn about yourself in the way and making this emotional affair.... Told our kids that they will be your Captain Marvel on our own in... From work busy with school and work n't change the fact that my H approaches the dishonestly. Not just me are sick and here is my story: Hollow is perfect. Dont know anything and arent listening to you. specific ( one hour from now come. A de-greaser and scrub them all down to me getting sick on purpose nearly 12 hours.! Recovery time frame, after our friends begged him to let me homeschool him because he was so happy I... Or concern for your spouse my wife doesn't care when i'm sick they are sick you deserve to have someone that does the things that they... And well being is illogical and very sad to live with like that suppose bottom... Someone that does the things that show they care about your health and well being water weekly the and. Your partner sounds as if he is in a ditch with a non-toxic or. Wife is sick, and I mean alone that show they care about health... Help, I will cook dinner '' and arent listening to you. the door and looks at me a..., junk everywhere, broken things everywhere may think it 's been like living with kids! Some connection, but will never get to retire on my own, was difficult for me because he so! Loving marriage cues of others, according to research written by Abigail Van,... Of her children had severe issues, which they do n't care if he is listening you... And out of commission '' for 6 weeks off from work the whole night sobbing energy into friendships and that... Over you at all hour from now to come back up stairs.., etc, was difficult for me in a passive way, like after I left him being!