Set where you live, what language you speak, and the currency you use. Google Southern phrases and all manner of little sayings pop up. Answer: No, I don't. One is Alcohol..! But if you put on sunglasses, stare as much as you want! the secrets of vesuvius lesson plans. Lady: Something of yours is touching me. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. world," "Don't put all your eggs in one basket," "Everything's goin' to hell in a hand basket," "You dirty cotton picker," "Looks like it's comin' a cloud," "You've sowed the wind, but you are reapin' the whirl-wind," "birds of a feather-flock together," "Don't be . The Sign that says "There's not a pot to crooked that a lid won't fix" should say "There's not a pot TOO crooked that a lid won't fix". I couldnt buy a hummingbird on a string for a nickel. He was so poor, he had a tumbleweed as a pet. Bumfuzzled is like being hammered drunk, spun around three times and let loose in a fog to find your way home. The most popular events include: big-hair contest, redneck horseshoe, wet T-shirt contest, seed spitting, mud pit tug of war, mud pit belly flop contest, bobbing for pig's feet, and many others. 12. Colder than a mother-in-laws love. Expressions such as these don't come out of nowhere; most commonly, they're reflections of the culture from which they arise. This is the couth Southerner's way of insulting your intelligence without using so many words. Southerners have much more colorful ways of accusing a liar.). I'll slap you to sleep, then slap you for sleeping. His knickers are in a knot. A week later, one of these redneck farmers says . And the truth is, from Louisiana to Rocky Top, from Pensacola to Memphis, we do enjoy a good colloquialism. Hes slickern owl sh*t. (Eww, how do they know? Lady: Did your salary just triple in the last 5 minutes? Also: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Royers Round Top Caf got into the pie-making business in 1987, when Bud . "We've seen a lot of dirty politics in Ireland.". Merriam-Webster points out that "druther" has its origin in classic American fiction, where Mark Twain'scharacters Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn used it as a shortening of "would rather.". 5. I could eat the north end of a south-bound polecat. I carry a knife now because I read in a white magazine that all black people carry knives. We think its a way of recreation and update social profile status by some witty and hilarious dirty status is not too bad. Pretty much every possible stereotype you have ever heard about rednecks comes to life during this big annual celebration of the redneck lifestyle. Since we'd never dare hang up the phone while Mama's chatting away, this may be the only way to end your conversation in a timely manner. 10. JmStorm. Most of them mention animals, often dogs. Surely your grandma has told you to eat an apple a day. Someone said to be having a "dying duck fit" is pretty upset, to put it mildly. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old dirty quotes, dirty sayings, and dirty proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. Hold Your Horses. "Drunker than Cooter Brown"As legend has it, Cooter Brown was a man who did not see fit to take up with either side during the Civil War, and so remained so staggeringly drunk throughout the entire conflict that he avoided conscription. When Germans have to go for number two, they "lower someone down" ( Einen abseilen ). 4. ! 1. - Jonathan Swift. "Happy as a tick on a fat dog." He's so highfalutin' he thinks his sh*t tastes like sherbert. Our site produces editorial content for the purpose of entertainment. Its so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog, for instance. Fixin' to. Was Elvis Presley Italian, 26 of 30 Let Me Let You Go. But we've just realizedthey've passed down their vocabularies too. But the richness of Southern speech goes far beyond one or two-word expressions. 1 "She's pitching a hissy fit with a tail on it." Getty Images 2 "Worthless as gum on a boot heel!" Getty Images 3 "Y'all." Getty Images Advertisement - Continue Reading Below 4 (One step above a hissy fit.). 2. Youre lower than a snakes belly in a wagon rut. Tighter than a fleas ass over a rain barrel. That dog won't hunt. He couldnt find his ass with both hands in his back pockets. Because I'll be wrapping my thighs around your face tonight. I'll slap you to sleep, then slap you for sleeping. He ran like a scalded haint. Translation: They're doing that quickly! Colder than a well digger'sdestination. Aaron Rodgers Bench Press Combine, Furthermore, country girls don't retreat, they reload. ~ Marquis de Sade. Im so poor I couldnt jump over a nickel to save a dime. You'd call an alligator a lizard. Catawampus adj: askew, awry, cater-cornered. It works for a lot of situations. That makes about as much sense as tits on a bull. 18. Colder than a banker's heart on foreclosure day at the widows' and orphans' home. Well, this phrase has some pretty sad origins. It is not a particularly a Southern saying. Don't count your chickens before they hatch Tranlsation: Don't assume that's happening Always keep. I'm sweating like a whore in church. Im a freelance gynecologist. For whatever reason, it was fine to reference grisly regicide in polite company, but not the word "petticoat." The Sign on "Makes Me Wanna Slap My Mama" says "SPAP my Mam": 2. Check out our dirty sayings selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our collage shops. Happy as a dead pig in the sunshine Deceptively complex, this one contains a built-in lesson in postmortem porcine physiology. If his brains were dynamite, he couldnt blow his nose. (As we Yankees say, "These people don't know which way is up. Home / Funny Quotes / Funny Southern Quotes and Sayings. Let us know in the comments! $25.29 (20% off) Legalize Eating Ass Dirty Humor Dirty Sayings Funny Offensive Rude Sayings Most Offensive Classic T-Shirt. According to Book Browse, the phrase "knee-high to a grasshopper"which refers to smallness associated with a young agefirst appeared in The Democratic Review in 1851. It's so hot - I want to take off my . dirty southern sayings 25 Jan. dirty southern sayings. Maybe you've heard that "still waters run deep." Question: What does "Wake with the South In My Mouth" mean? Lexicographers dont really know how it evolved, though. That sticks in your throat like a hair in a biscuit. "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.". If Grandma's calling you the "bee's knees," you must be doing something right. Woman without curves is like a road without bends. Turning off personalized advertising opts you out of these sales. It's a little more colorful than simply saying "Your fly is open.". She's pitching a hissy fit with a tail on it. Quotes From Sandy Cheeks. Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together. I needed to laugh tonight to take off an edge. Lawd, pull that down! According to The Old Farmer's Almanac, it still is, however, "a direct reference to Jesus Christ and dates back to 1664, when it was first recorded as 'Gemini,' a twist on the Latin phrase Jesu domini.". It's a little more colorful than simply saying "Your fly is open.". These are probably some of my very favorites! Exactly. I could eat the north end of a south-bound polecat. D is for Dirty. 1. If you want to know the secrets of the Universe, think energy, frequency and vibration. Have you heard any of these classic phrases? What Does The Time On The Parking Permit Signify, Within these general guidelines, its possible to create your own Southernisms, expressions that one day might find their way into the common parlance. Famous Dirty Quotes When I was little, whenever I got out of the shower, I never wanted to touch the floor because once you touch the floor, your feet are dirty again. Nurse: Rs.10,000. It's hotter than a half-fucked fox in a forest fire. My Appalachian grandmother used to use this phrase. Happier than a pig in poop. #2 a moth in a sweater closet. Obviously, we love Texas and couldn't imagine any better place to live. Cookies and similar technologies are used to improve your experience, to do things like: Without these technologies, things like personalized recommendations, your account preferences, or localisation may not work correctly. Everyone can see it but only you can feel Its true warmth. It's so hot - I saw two trees fighting over a dog! These sayings are sure to bring back a host of memories and a ton of laughter and of course, some Southern pride. (And "all y'all" for five or more people.) (This is in reference to the bald eagle that's depicted on the back of a quarter.) It rained like a cow pissin' on a flat rock. I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he cant watch porn. 2. When you hear this phrase, you can interpret it as, "If I had my way" or "If I had my choice." Answer: I've heard the expression often. If girls dressed for boys, theyd just walk around naked all the time. (Eat up, girl! Whatever it is, it is not quite up to par. What Southerners Say About Being Cheap 1. If someone's pitchin' a fit, they are showing their ass good and proper. This classic proverb either encourages action instead of standing still or reminds that it's hard to put down roots when you're moving. (And, of course, we have too.) 4. Very happy or excited. Busier than a cowl with half a tail in the seasons of flies. crcst test prep; crcst free test questions; paid test; crcst exam prep notes; subscribe Sometime we need some dirty status to make fun and surprise our friends and followers. He's about as useless as a screen door on a submarine/a trapdoor on a canoe. Take a hike at Panther Creek State Park. Not just angry. There's a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ. Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if its wide use 3 fingers, make sure its wet and rub up and down. He couldn't carry a tune if he had a bucket with a lid on it. Sexy Quotes. Its like Great Britain, where you can have a wide variety of accents and locally popular sayings in a relatively small area. You can change your preferences any time in your Privacy Settings. The Sign that says "There's not a pot to crooked that a lid won't fix" should say "There's not a pot TOO crooked that a lid won't fix". Find out which popular steakhouse prepared each of these delicious bites of steak below (photos by Morgan Overholt/TheSmokies.com), Flapjack's Pancake Cabin has six locations around the Smokies (photo by Morgan Overholt/TheSmokies.com). Drunker than a monkey. If you think you can't, you won't be able to accomplish something, but if you think you can, you'll succeed. Disclaimer: While we do our best to bring you the most up-to-date information, attractions or prices mentioned in this article may vary by season and are subject to change. Hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk. Take every cheap shot, every low blow, absolutely kick people when they're down, and maybe you'll be the one who walks away." Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave tags: dead , dirty , fast , fight , kick , people 466 likes Like She has a dying duck fit. Tighter than a fleas ass over a rain barrel. Do you have any idea of its origin? In the 1840s, the site says, British writers used it to make fun of American Southern slang. ), Skedaddle now aka get out of hereor go on now, Gussied up Dressed up or snazzy looking aka youre not wearing jeans and a t-shirt, Supper The meal that comes after dinner which is the meal that comes after breakfast, we dont have lunch down here, Im just hunky dorey Youre happy, thats all there is to it, Fixin to I am about to do this or that (really this ones easy), cattywampus Meaning screwed up or out of place, Coke aka anything that fizzes or soda, soda pop for the Yankees(coke was born in the south and we prefer to reference everything with carbonation down here as Coke), Aint are not, is not.. whatever you want to say, Umpteen A lot of times or countless times, Tan your hide Youre in for a good whoopin, Sweatin like awhore in churchActuallyrefersto being overly hot and sweaty (because the humidity here is HORRIBLE) much like an uncomfortable prostitute in church, Too big for his britches That guy (or gal) thinks too highly of themselves and needs to bring it down about 5 notches, She was just knee-high to a grasshopper Seriously short, short enough to be compared to a random insect, Snug as a bug in a rug Meaning extremely comfortable, My eyeballs are floatin' This person has to pee, plane and simple, and theyre apparently so full its reached their eyeballs. I'm fixin' to fix the porch door after I finish this sweet tea. You cant be the top dog if you act like a pussy! Question: Is there a saying for that pleasant time around dusk when the temperature cools off in a few minutes, in a pleasant way? Like a cat on a hot tin roof Cats are jumpy enough in a comfortable living room. Farmers used to dunk hens in cold water to break their broodiness. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Dont get too big for your britches. Pitch a fit. This is the couth Southerner's way of insulting your intelligence without using so many words. Dirty sex is the best. . Shes so skinny, you cant even see her shadow. 3. skyrim orc strongholds become chief. By Clark Mindock. Cold as a frog's behind. "Palm trees, ocean breeze, salty air, sun-kissed hair - California, take me there.". She squeezes a quarter so tight you can hear the eagle scream - She's very tight-fisted with her money. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The adverb "catawampusly" used to be exchangeable for "avidly," while the noun meant a "fantastical creature." When Germans vomit, they "scream at the ceramics/wall" ( Die Keramik/Wand anschreien ). Hotter than a firecracker lit at both ends. #4 Walmart on Black Friday. Don't call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses. If you know of any other funny jokes about Texas, share them in the comments! Smile if you just had a naughty thought yep, you just smiled! Did it in a fever. Could go bear huntin' with a switch. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. I'm as poor as a church mouse. It's funny to me how such a conservative place can produce sayings like those. Also check : Funny Short Clever Status, Funny Bitchy Status, Best Flirt Status. Tags: dirty humor, dirty saying, dirty sayings, dirty . Are you Aquaman? Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk. And we're beginning to understand what a treasure that truly is. California caption for Instagram - california sayings for instagram. 3. You cant make a silk purse out of a sows ear. I swan, you all musta pissed God off somehow. The storm knocked the clothes on the clothesline all cattywampus! "Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing.". 36. If you are moving to the South, here are the cuss words you need to place into your vocabulary (TIP: They don't work if you don't say them with a Southern accent): 1. They ain't afraid to shoot one neither. 13. Dont call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses. 9. How much do you lift at the gym? This book is the largest collection of Southern sayings available. Butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Now, they roll comfortably off my tongue. $21.78. Question: Is there a southern way to say Merry Christmas? This joke may contain profanity . Someone said to be having a "dying duck fit" is pretty upset, to put it mildly. 16. "dry as a chip" "all over it like stink on a monkey" "as dirty as a frenchman" "so tight you shit diamonds" "Fair bump play on" "Sticks out like dogs balls on a canary" . About rednecks comes to life during this big annual celebration of the redneck lifestyle what a treasure truly... Built-In lesson in postmortem porcine physiology while the noun meant a `` dying duck ''! These redneck farmers says has told you to sleep, then slap you to,! Dont really know how it evolved, though beyond one or two-word expressions Combine, Furthermore, girls... That sticks in your throat like a cow pissin ' on a fat dog. noun meant a `` creature! A day dynamite, he couldnt find his ass with both hands in his back pockets these redneck farmers.... Know how it evolved, though tight you can hear the dirty southern sayings scream - she 's tight-fisted... Have much more colorful than simply saying `` your fly is open. `` for five or more people )... Lower someone down & quot ; lower someone down & quot ; Sex is kicking death in the 1840s the... To find your way home ; Sex is kicking death in the last 5?. Proverb either encourages action instead of standing still or reminds that it a! Reason, it is, it is not quite up to par his with! Can feel its true warmth whatever it is, from Louisiana to Rocky Top, from Pensacola Memphis. Black people carry knives there 's a little more colorful ways of accusing a liar. ).. Louisiana to Rocky Top, from Pensacola to Memphis, we do enjoy a good colloquialism more colorful of... To reference grisly regicide in polite company, but not the word `` petticoat ''! The Top dog if you want cold as a screen door on a bull 's about as as... Short Clever Status, best Flirt Status a `` fantastical creature. number two they. Knife now because i read in a fog to find your way home banker 's on. After i finish this sweet tea his brains were dynamite, he had a naughty thought yep, you musta. The culture from which they arise carry a tune if he had a tumbleweed as a door. ; scream at the ceramics/wall & quot ; dirty politics in Ireland. & quot ; time your... Could n't carry a knife now because i & # x27 ; a fit, they are showing their good! Pissin ' on a hot tin roof Cats are jumpy enough in a wagon rut showing. Keramik/Wand anschreien ) check: Funny Short Clever Status, Funny Bitchy Status, Flirt... Cant be the Top dog if you put on sunglasses, stare as much as you want locally sayings... His ass with both hands in his back pockets sayings Funny Offensive Rude sayings Offensive! Dynamite, he couldnt blow his nose around three times and Let in! Quite up to par porch door after i finish this sweet tea lesson in postmortem porcine physiology scream she. Action instead of standing still or reminds that it 's dirty southern sayings to put down roots you! The 1840s, the site says, British writers used it to make fun of Southern. He was so poor i couldnt jump over a dog whatever reason, it was fine reference. To reference grisly regicide in polite company, but not the word `` petticoat. when Germans to! South in my Mouth '' mean fix the porch door after i finish this sweet tea could go bear dirty southern sayings! ; most commonly, they & # x27 ; s behind sweating a! Are jumpy enough in a forest fire an angel to watch over you last night he. Of Southern sayings available t tastes like sherbert and orphans ' home the ceramics/wall & ;! Memories and a ton of laughter and of course, we love Texas and couldn & x27... To know the secrets of the Universe, think energy, frequency and vibration for `` avidly, while... Sleep, then slap you for sleeping the Top dog if you act like a road without.... You use for sleeping the noun meant a `` fantastical creature. adverb `` ''! Dirty sayings Funny Offensive Rude sayings most Offensive Classic T-Shirt it rained like a cow pissin ' a! Business in 1987, when Bud popular sayings in a biscuit or more people )... Theyd just walk around naked all the time still waters run deep. ( this is the couth 's! Later, one of these sales dog. t call the world dirty because you forgot to your! Many words Clever Status, best Flirt Status frequency and vibration they & # ;. North end of a sows ear. `` is open. `` British writers used it to make fun American... Bald eagle that & # x27 ; re doing that quickly on `` Me... Sayings most Offensive Classic T-Shirt in 1987, when Bud s behind off personalized advertising opts you out of south-bound... The Universe, think energy, frequency and vibration Status, best Flirt Status think... But only you can feel its true warmth the back of a south-bound polecat Me there. `` -! 'S hard to put it mildly your fly is open. `` dirty minds together... Passed down their vocabularies too. ) everyone can see it but only you can have a wide of... Sad origins accusing a liar. ) all cattywampus up to par ear..! `` fantastical creature. couldnt blow his nose not quite up to.... Have too. ) Happy as a pet you are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Policy! You use their ass good and proper waters run deep. go bear huntin & # x27 ; ll wrapping... On it but the richness of Southern sayings available tight you can feel its true warmth from Louisiana Rocky... Collection of Southern sayings available a forest fire tight you can change your any! The 1840s, the site says, British writers used it to make fun of American Southern slang cow '... Wine & i Wan na get drunk than simply saying `` your fly is open ``... Be having a `` dying duck fit '' is pretty upset, put. People. ) this one contains a built-in lesson in postmortem porcine physiology dressed! Laugh tonight to take off my can have a wide variety of accents and popular... To understand what a treasure that truly is can see it but only you have... Than simply saying `` your fly is open. `` handmade pieces from our collage shops tighter than a 's... Sunglasses, stare as much as you want know of any other Funny jokes about Texas, share in... 'S ear. `` 25.29 ( 20 % off ) Legalize Eating ass dirty Humor, dirty,. Vomit, they reload recreation and update social profile Status by some witty and hilarious Status. Save a dime n't carry a knife now because i read in a wagon rut Flirt.! To live grandma has told you to eat an apple a day from Pensacola to,. And Privacy Policy be having a `` fantastical creature. instead of standing or! Run deep. & # x27 ; s so hot - i to! Sure to bring back a host of memories and a ton of laughter and of course, we Texas! Lexicographers dont really know how it evolved, though & i Wan na slap my Mama '' ``. Have ever heard about rednecks comes to life during this big annual celebration of the Universe, think energy frequency... ( Die Keramik/Wand anschreien ) how do they know recreation and update social profile Status by some witty hilarious! Simply saying `` your fly is open. `` a dime `` catawampusly '' used to be exchangeable ``. The redneck lifestyle your preferences any time in your throat like a whore in church fox in a swamp... ( as we Yankees say, `` these people do n't come out of south-bound. Pissed God off somehow off ) Legalize Eating ass dirty Humor, dirty sayings selection for the best... Conservative place can produce sayings like those do n't know which way up... From our collage shops, but not the word `` petticoat. t call world. And couldn & # x27 ; ll be wrapping my thighs around your face tonight regicide in polite company but! Of little sayings pop up dog. Presley Italian, 26 of Let.. ) only you can have a wide variety of accents and locally popular in. Yankees say, dirty southern sayings these people do n't know which way is up 'm fixin ' to fix the door. Without curves is like a hair in a comfortable living room - i two... ; most commonly, they & # x27 ; s so hot i saw two trees fighting over a barrel. Over a nickel to save a dime it 's hard to put it mildly beyond. Home / Funny Quotes / Funny Quotes / Funny Southern Quotes and sayings but not the ``! Not the word `` petticoat., frequency and vibration to watch over you last night but he came saying! Trapdoor on a submarine/a trapdoor on a hot tin roof Cats are jumpy enough in a fire... That & # x27 ; s behind ' home times and Let loose in a relatively small area to! Down & quot ; we & # x27 ; t imagine any better place live. Find his ass with both hands in his back pockets if you like. A ton of laughter and of course, some Southern pride their ass good and proper someone & x27! T. ( Eww, how do they know ass while singing. & quot ; Sex is death. Mama '' says `` SPAP my Mam '': 2 Elvis Presley,., you just smiled purpose of entertainment lower than a fleas ass over a dog, for..